Parents of teenagers may think that their words of wisdom fall on seemingly iPod deafened adolescent ears, but according to researchers at Brigham Young University in Provo, parenting style matters a great deal – and parents using an authoritative parenting style do a great deal to protect their kids from the dangers of binge drinking.

To determine this, the researchers surveyed almost 5000 teens, from the ages of 12 to 19, about their drinking history and their relationship with their parents.

They compared 3 distinct types of parenting styles to drinking outcomes: authoritative (intensive monitoring of behaviors and a warm relationship) permissive (a warm relationship with low levels of monitoring) and strict (very tight monitoring but little warmth. They found that:

Teens brought up in homes with permissive parents were 3 times more likely to binge drink than teens from authoritative households.
Teens living in homes with strict parents were twice as likely as teens with authoritative parents to binge drink.
Teens who attended religious services or ranked religion as important in the survey were less likely to try alcohol at all.
The researchers say that although teens from households with differing parenting styles are equally prone to trying alcohol, that authoritative parenting certainly seems protective against very risky drinking behaviors, like binge drinking.

Lead researcher Stephen Bahr advises, “Parents need to realise you need to have both accountability and support in your relationship with adolescents. Make sure that it’s not just about controlling their behaviour – you need to combine knowing how they spend their time away from home with a warm, loving relationship.”

The full research results can be examined in the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs.

Taken from Choosehelp.com

I found this blog post from Brad M. Griffin this morning and thought it worth sharing.  Please enjoy!

Have millennials been misunderstood?

A recent report from The Futures Company wonders aloud whether we’ve misread this generation. Whereas generational speculation has given a positive spin to this up-beat, do-good cohort, as millennials transition to adulthood questions are popping up about the tendencies of this age group when taken as a whole (which is, of course, unfair in and of itself). According to the report, “Millennials are demonstrating more insular,

self-protective and scrappy attitudes than previously assumed.” Here’s some of their argument for making this statement:

They believe “the system” is letting them down (Occupy movement, anyone?)
They are increasingly cynical about “making a difference” in the world.
Personal success is the priority. And they’re willing to bend the rules for self-benefit.
Now, this report in particular is based on opinion polling, so don’t take it (or any other research) without liberal grains of salt. But it does raise good questions.

How often to we lean into group or age cohort stereotypes and make assumptions before they’re proven?
How much do we write off 22-year-olds or 72-year-olds based on what we think they must be thinking, feeling, or doing related to whatever we are concerned about?
While we’re generalizing, though, what difference actually exists between the beliefs and attitudes of 20-somethings listed above and their 30-40-something counterparts? Rampant individualism is the bread and butter of our cultural feast. Did we expect something different from this generation if that’s all we’ve been feeding them?
And finally, how does any or all of this impact the ways we shape our ministries for the coming year? Should it?

10 Tips to Active Listening

Posted By: Youth Specialties on November 09 2011

1.  Be committed.
Don’t walk away before there’s a natural conclusion to the conversation.

2.  Don’t be a problem solver.
Even if you have the perfect solution that can end the conversation quickly, wait.  And then some more.

3.  Pay attention to your non-verbal language.
How are you standing/sitting?  Do you have a glazed look on your face?

4. Keep listening!
Avoid the temptation to daydream or to prepare a mental “To Do” list while listening.

5.  Listen with love.
Have a positive attitude during the conversation.  This is not an interruption in your day but an opportunity to reflect God’s love during His day.

6.  Clarify what is being said.
Don’t pretend to know what the speaker is talking about if you don’t.  Don’t be afraid to ask speaker to repeat something that you didn’t hear or to clarify when needed.

7.  Repeat what was said.
Show you’re listening by reiterating what you heard the person say and how she feels

8.  Prove you’re listening.
When appropriate, nod, smile, congratulate, comment, etc.

9.  Wait your turn.
Don’t compose what you’re going to say while someone else is speaking.  Stay focused on what is being said – you’ll have time to get your thoughts together.

10. Look at the person!
Nothing is as insulting as having a conversation with someone who looks everywhere and at everyone but at you.

There’s a hot new website — they still make those, you know — called Fitocracy. It’s a site for tracking your day-to-day fitness achievements. How many push-ups did you do? How fast did you run that 5K? How long were you on the elliptical? You log in your workouts, it assigns points based on your exercises’ degree of difficulty, and you watch the points accumulate. Once you reach a certain number of points, you move up a level. You unlock achievement badges. And because it’s as much a social media site as anything else, your friends and followers get to see how well (or poorly) you’re doing.

The guys who started it, Brian Wang and Richard Talens, grew up playing video games. They knew how addictive gaming could be. What if the pleasures of gaming — new levels, new achievements, a flurry of points — could be applied to exercise? After all, exercise isn’t always fun. You don’t always see immediate changes in your body. There are no power-up noises that ding when you meet a goal. In an activity where “real” results are hard to see, Fitocracy creates them and gives them to you as soon as you log a workout. It’s pretty brilliant.

So brilliant, in fact, that I keep trying to think of other hard-to-quantify activities that could benefit from the same approach. Sure, we need to be healthier. But what else could we improve? I write a blog about fatherhood. What if we could inject the immediate returns of gaming into the long-haul experience of being a good dad?

Log your activities, dads:
+100 points for jumping on the trampoline with your kids
+200 points for playing Barbies with your daughter, even if you have no idea what you’re supposed to do or say
+175 points for participating in a living-room dance party (50 bonus points if the music is by The Wiggles)
+150 points for each story you tell at night before bed (add 50 if you made up the story yourself)
+75 points for each game of H-O-R-S-E you play in the driveway (add 50 if you purposefully lose)
+25 points per diaper changed, bottle given, and post-feeding burp achieved
+10 per high five or fist bump given
+500 points for talking to your kid about sex before he figures it out from his friends
+500 points for coaching your kid’s sports team
+500 points every time one of your kids is kind to someone else because he’s seen you treat people that way

Those points could add up. You’d see average fathers unlocking achievements — Super Dad, Not-Entirely-Lame Dad, Sporty Dad – on a weekly basis. We’ll call it “Parentocracy” and get moms involved, too. (They would earn points so fast they’d need special secret levels.)

Could Parentocracy be a way to get dads home from work faster, or off their recliners, or away from their smartphones? Could it be a way to make them more active and present in their kids’ lives?

The sad thing is: probably so. Sometimes you have to dangle a few carrots in front of us to get us to do the right thing. (As if our kids’ futures aren’t enough carrot already.)

So there’s the idea, Internet geniuses and coding nerds. Get to work.

This post is from Jason Boyett who is the author of O Me of Little Faith and the Pocket Guide series of books. Find him at Dadequate,Twitter, Facebook, and at jasonboyett.com. This was originally posted on Donald Miller’s blog. 

 Posted By Kurt Johnston